The Dreaded Minivan

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I didn’t think I’d have to do it. With all of the SUV options out there why would I need to get a minivan and lose the few cool points I have left driving around a living room on wheels? Well, we looked at the SUVS…despite being huge mom tanks, nearly all of them had the ability for a back bench OR a trunk…you couldn’t get both at the same time. If you were using your bench maybe you would fit a soccer ball in the poor excuse for a trunk. If you wanted any space for even a stroller you would have to put your back bench down. This is a huge car, where is all the space??? In the front, for the engine, useless for anyone. And I wasn’t going to buy one of the SUVs that are the size of a bus and eat more gas then I want to eat cake on a daily basis. Also I’m a small person, I don’t need to scale half dome every time I need to get into my car.

So despite my poor, poor aching ego, we test drove the mini vans. I felt like I had mom jeans on as soon as I sat inside it, BUT it had tons of room, good technology, drove like a sedan sized car, you have the ability to use your bag bench for say a giant 90 lb. black goldendoodle or grandparents and also have trunk space, and the kicker was safety. While mini vans are not cool they are helpful and safe. I LOVE that I can put my kids in their car seats in their bucket seats and then push them into the middle of the car, so if someone t bones us they are less likely to take a bumper to the dome. I cannot put my ego before my kid’s safety. It’s also nice that I can open the sliding doors with a fob or button and since they just slide back I don’t have to worry about smacking into someone else’s car. Opening or closing my trunk with a button is nice too. Probably my favorite thing, since my last car was a 2010, is I can just keep my keys in my purse and my doors will unlock based on proximity. I know, I know, for anyone that bought a car anytime soon that is a standard but I have been holding a kid and digging in my purse for my keys way too many times. That is over! So while it pains me that blasting Four Year Strong or giving someone the stink eye out of a minivan doesn’t really seem cool or menacing…at least my life is easier and my kids are safer. I have no cool points, but as my friend John said, “being cool is a pain in the ass.”

Empty Threats

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As mentioned previously, my son fears little to no consequences. He is good most of the time, but when he’s not it’s challenging to figure out what to do. This past weekend he did not have his listening ears on. I am VERY guilty of making empty threats, which all great parenting guides tell you not to do. If you are going to say, we are not going HERE if you do THAT again, you are supposed to not go there if they do it again. I find myself just saying if you don’t listen we aren’t going HERE over and over. I got so tired of hearing myself say that this past Saturday that I finally stuck to my guns and we didn’t go to the kid’s play place we planned on going to. (Another parenting guide tip is not to take things away that YOU want to do…so I failed there. This would have been fun and a good way to tire out a boy who fights his nap these days. And my husband was out of town so I was just trying to survive this weekend, with my parents helping out where they could taking one kid while I had the other.) I was happy I finally put my foot down. Instead of going to the play place we went to the hippie grocery store (love/hate relationship) before we went home.

My son was still being a bit of a goofball and not listening all too well in the hipper grocery store. That’s fair, he’s 3. The cashier took one look at him, he is so damn cute (ask anyone), and pulled out a lollipop. She kinda asked me if she could give it to him and I said, “No thank you. Normally I would say yes but he isn’t listening too well today so he can’t have that lollipop.” His back was turned and he didn’t see it. After she rang up all my groceries she pulled it out AGAIN and by this time the cart was past her so he could see it. She was walking towards him with it, holding it out in front of her, saying promise your mommy you will be good and then gives it to him.

OH. NO. YOU. DIDN’T.

So then I had to take it away and he obviously wasn’t happy about that. Usually during these kind of things I’m so shocked I don’t say anything because I can’t get past the shock fast enough to get my words out. But since this B started with these shenanigans before she rung up my groceries I was ready now. It went something like this…

“I understand you are just trying to be nice and he’s a cute little boy, but when you asked me I said no. It is not your call if you can give him a lollipop or not, it’s mine. He cannot behave badly and get what he wants so you shouldn’t have done that. It is not your call to make.”

Oh gurl, you are lucky that is all I said to you.

Your Worst Self

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Like any 3 year old boy, my son does things he shouldn’t do. My challenge is, my son seems to fear no consequences. He thinks time out is funny, he doesn’t care what you take away from him…we are at a loss. Sometimes this lack of ability to get through to him when he does something wrong brings out my worst self. I yell and I say things I later regret, trying to get through to him, trying to get my point across. Then I hate who I turned into and I apologize and use a more calm demeanor and nicer words. I wish I could get in front of myself to skip out the middle part I don’t like. I just don’t know how to get through to him that this is wrong if he doesn’t care about consequences and he’s laughing in my face. Maybe explaining it is all I need to do? He is good most of the time…I would like to be good all the time. Parenting is hard. How do you get your point across to your children without turning into a Neverbeast?

Irrational Mom Fears or Just Good Planning?

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I was out to dinner with another mom friend of mine the other night and we got to talking about our irrational mom fears. It was nice to hear that I’m not the only one that has these crazy thoughts.

What our plan was if someone broke into the house? Do I try to leave? Do I fight? Do I comply? I have decided that I grab my older son and then go to the baby’s room and push the screen out of his window and go through the window, kids in hand, and call the dog and have my heart break if he didn’t come.

What we do would do if there was a fire? Should we practice this with our 3 year old boys?

I also have this fear about something happening to me between the trunk of my car and the driver seat. You see, I put the boys in the car, close the doors, and then put the stroller in the trunk. If something happened to me in the 5 steps between the trunk of my car and the driver seat my boys would die from the heat, stuck in the car, the worst thing ever. These are thoughts I have…and I will now not close the doors of the car until I’m in it.

I have also imagined what I would do if I were at my kid’s school during a school shooting (sad I even have this thought) and what I would do if someone hijacked a plane I was on…so my mind wanders.

Do Dads have these thoughts too? What are some of your scary thoughts?